2018 sucked movie-wise! It was a terrible year on the big screen, probably even the worst year ever. When December comes and you want to binge some good movies and find none, something’s wrong. Seriously. Not even one.
It started in January. There was nothing worth watching, not even worth watching a full trailer. Apart from The Greatest Showman, it was a truly unremarkable month – all expected in Jan, the dullest month in movies.
February was all about the Oscars, even though fifty Shades Freed did try to kindle embers of valentine movies, but in vain, Fifty Shades of Black was still more exciting that this attempt at a sequel – people loved it though and it made $100m against a budget of $55m. I was still not convinced.
Ending Feb and throughout March there was hope with a bright spot of a black cast powered blockbuster movie aptly named: Black Panther. Who hasn’t seen the movie? It broke all records –
Black Panther Box Office Records
5th-biggest opening weekend of all time
Biggest non-sequel opening weekend
Biggest solo superhero launch of all time
Biggest February opening weekend
Biggest Fri-Sun opening weekend for a long holiday debut
Biggest long holiday opening weekend
Biggest opening weekend ever for any movie not directed by a white guy
Biggest pre-summer opening weekend…
and so much more records broken, there was hope for the year.
There was still something not right about black panther that did not seat well with me. I thought the character development for the supporting cast was weak, maybe an indication that Hollywood doesn’t yet know how to cast dark skinned roles for the masses. Nevertheless, “Wakanda Forever!”
Then things started going all wrong after the year has started so well. Pacific Rim Uprising rose up to become a B-Movie at the top of the box office. Lousy acting, poor story-lines, no jokes and giant monsters back in action – it was only good in IMAX. The rest of the universe wondered – what the …is this? And slept before it got finished.
Ready Player One was a nice attempt at science fiction in April – mixing logic with action is a good step, but when the premise cannot be sustained after 40 minutes, you realise the movie was just bait…”come and watch me, i’m good”….and it turned out not too great. Hollywood over promised and under delivered on this one.
Then movie goers decided to go scary in the riveting A Quiet Place. I haven’t watched it yet as i may be too chicken for a well made horror movie. No Judgement. An ape focused Rampage ended the month on a rather sour note, showing us again how apes are bad for cities. Animal lovers must hate this movie because it shows subjective animal cruelty. Watch it carefully.
Then the worst thing happened in the universe in May. Half the universe infamously died on the snap of a finger – in Avengers Infinity War. Hulk couldn’t raise it (pun intended), Thor was unsettled and got his hammer destroyed, Loki seriously pretended to die (can he die?), Iron Man didn’t give Peggy the most anticipated kiss since Iron Man 1, and Vision had a human face. The worst thing about Avengers Infinity War was Captain America. I mean, why did Chris Evans change his look? And why did Thanos kill his own daughter on screen – and still win in the end? Why did spider man die? Why did half the universe die? Why? This was the worst sad ending of all time. The bad guy won. Hollywood is changing how movies end indeed. What a sad movie. The action was awesome though. Have to watch it again 🙂
Going from bad to worse in June was lead by Deadpool 2. It’s just a sad movie with a sadistic hero and sad story with a sad love story and sad ending with sad jokes in between. The second “sad superhero” movie. Solo: A Star Wars Story was an attempt at making a correction of all that was wrong in Hollywood. The attempt failed miserably. If you were not a star wars fan it probably never registered with you and ended up being one of the hidden gems of 2018.
Oceans 8 and Incredibles 2 smashed at each other – two well marketed mediocre movies made by very talented cast/artists. What a waste. I can’t wait for Incredibles 8 and Oceans 2042. Then a kingdom fell with Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, another sequel completing a month full of 100% sequels. What a complete lack for creativity.
Fast forward to July and we have Ant Man and the Wasp. This is one movie marvel made poorly. The acting was weak, the lines predictable, the CGI looked like drawings, and the story line like spaghetti – too complicated to follow. The end credits was the best reveal and a hint at Avengers Infinity War events.
Apart from the light-hearted “Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again“, the ever grim “Equalizer 2” with Denzel Washinghton and “Hotel Transylvania 3: Summer Vacation” that wrapped up July, August started with an impossible mission to save the year in movies with Mission: Impossible – Fallout. Tom Cruise is watchable any day any time and this one did not disappoint one bit. At least a silver lining in the year of disappointing movies – Mission: Impossible – Fallout has a good story with fantastic action and a heart warming ending.
Then a silly movie hits number one at the box office and you realize we are hitting new lows on what we call entertainment. Something called The Meg. Apart from the name, the movie is a sharknado wanna be with a single star who drove ladies to see his abs on the big screen – i won’t mention names. Crazy Rich Asians rounded up a completely mediocre August month.
The month of September started off a nondescript The Nun, followed by a flashback wannabe called Predator and ended with a movie called “The House With A Clock In Its Walls”. I heard it’s great. The title did not make it seem watchable. Not one single bit. Maybe if i move my clock i can watch the movie??
October started with the worst movie of 2018. Venom! Yuck! Who says ugly monsters get to win? Who want’s to see people’s heads been eaten off and comments about humans are “yummy” – this is a totally disgusting movie that is an affront to humanity. I like the part where he eats lobsters raw though – now that was funny! Hidden in August was a good movie called First Man, about Neil Armstrong and his journey to space, a must see for all science lovers especially astronomy lovers. I went outside to see the stars after watching this movie.
November continued the mediocre run with a movie called “Bohemian Rhapsody”. What do the two words individually mean? Bohemian? Rhapsody? And combined, Bohemian Rhapsody? Should you go to the movies to see people going to concerts? Is that how low we have fallen? One of the biggest dud failures of 2018 showed up in the form of “The Nutcracker and the Four Realms”. It received so many negative reviews….one person called it “Alice In Wonderland in Wakanda.” Go figure.
Hidden in the November madness was a nice little movie called Nobody’s Fool by Tyler Perry. A true hidden gem. December was introduced to us by Ralph breaking the internet in “Ralph Breaks the Internet“. At least we got some good laughs with this one.
The year was redeemed by two movies, so wonderfully made, they almost made me forget what an awful year it had been movie wise. Aquaman was a very well made movie, if you compare to ant-man at least. I best liked the way bad guys made an intro, especially the guys in the red suits. darn this was screen candy at its best. imagine bourne ultimatum going though a window plus smashing walls…fantastic.
The most underrated movie of the year was indeed Bumblebee. A simple autobot, a simple girl, a simple kid next door trying to date her, a simple stepdad and a simple mom, all the characters in this one were developed in movie heaven, including the decepticons and their arrogance towards humanity. Very cool movie with a cool ending.
Was the year redeemed? No. Half the universe “died”. No super hero stopped that. What a shame.
I expect none of these movies to feature in the Oscars this year as usual. The really good movies, it seems, are the ones people don’t get to see on popular cinema. And this time, the Academy Awards must get it right.