Legend of Tarzan is nothing less than a mud of a movie. Matope! The whole world knows the legendary story of Tarzan, a man who was raised in Africa by an ape, gets discovered and is take back to civilization, and rejects the so called ‘modern world’ by returning to his home – the jungle. The new Tarzan is totally whack. First, Tarzan is apparently the English Prime Minister! Come on! Secondly, he is so well mannered and cultured, there is nothing ‘Tarzan’ about him. Third, this is more John Clayton remembering to be Tarzan rather than Tarzan discovering life as John Clayton. Fourth – what are Americans doing in this purely British story??? Lastly, the 300 like fight scenes and six packs are so out of date! We deserved a jungle war in a jungle, not an open fight in the bush or ocean! Obviously this latest one was more Hollywood inspired! Finally, in this weird modern day story, he is more a man than an animal, and that at the bare minimum makes this a public ‘fake’ reboot of the Tarzan we used to love.

In this modern day ‘The Legend of Tarzan’, we meet John Clayton getting used to the politics in England. Circumstances develop that require him to render his services back in his home country – to fight slavery of his fellow people. Somehow in this whole story there is a tale of a hidden grudge, diamonds, primitive Africans living in villages and yes, the very Kenyan song ‘Muanamberi Kayaye‘.

At some point, the Africans in the movie talk Swahili, then at other points, other dialects. The apes take a back seat in this one, with only a few scenes showing how he was discovered by his mother ape and how she died – a few hints of how she raised him – and a lot of scenes of tribes, human violence and treachery. At least at the very end we see him ‘talk’ to animals.

It’s 2016 and Hollywood still dramatizes a legendary character in such a totally unbelievable way, please anyone who believes in new Legend of┬áTarzan tale kindly let me know!! Even kids were like; ‘no way – ha ha’ on the funny scenes. Give us a Tarzan universe that is more dramatic and realistic as Planet of the Apes or King Kong, it’s more mature ape-like movie neighbors.

I would give this ‘Legend of Tarzan’ a 1 out of 10, and whiplash its director – David Yates! Which other movie has he directed? Because i’m not watching them!

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James Maina is the editor of What To Watch. Passionate about the creative world of film and media, James loves to create magazines, video games, websites and android apps in his spare time, but he is most passionate about one thing: Movies on the big screen. Email your feedback to info@whatyouneedtowatch.com